It's me again - the direct result of a promise made when Mark was being extra nice to me over the weekend.
Joking aside, I have had a slightly interesting week, apparently much more interesting than my ever amazing husband.
House Painting
Some of you will have already read in a few of my previous blogs that I am an avid painter, Which does result in an abundance of paintings to find room for in our little humble abode.
Painting has become my source of comfort, my safe place if you like, and gets me out of my head very effectively when intrusive thoughts bombard my already full head. I do paint by numbers, and the more intricate and difficult, the better. These works of art take a lot of concentration, and hours can easily tick by unnoticed!.
But, this week I have had to refrain from my hours of painting, and even more hours of doomscrolling on social media, because I had a little bit of laser surgery on my eyes.
The Nerve!
Please do not think for one minute that this was a cosmetic decision, I am a happy glasses wearing (when I haven't lost them) lady. This surgery was because I am at risk of developing a condition called ‘ angle closure glaucoma’, which is where the fluid in the eye causes high pressure, and can be pretty catastrophic. I actually do have an issue with fluid distribution in my eyes due narrow drainage, so it was decided that having surgery to widen said drainage would be a wise precautionary act.
Having now worked for our beloved NHS for almost 3 years, I have great faith and respect for this wonderful system, and the offer of this surgery to likely prevent issues from occurring in the future, was an option I really couldn't refuse.
The appointment came through within 2 weeks, and the surgery happened about 3 weeks after the tests confirmed my condition, so I felt really lucky. I’m not quite sure I continued to feel lucky though, as the nerves definitely began to kick in a few days before the surgery. This is always the case with me though, I work myself up so much that the actual event is an anti climax, and far less scary than initially imagined. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person who reacts to situations like this - especially those among us who have mental health issues.
After a short car ride we arrived at the eye care centre at a local-ish hospital. I arrived early, which worked in my favour because the clinic had experienced some cancellations meaning I was seen much earlier than my actual appointment time
Offline
Just over an hour after my arrival I was done, with prescription for eye drops in hand, and instructions for no screens or painting for at least 48 hours. It was not a pleasant experience to be honest, lots of sharp pain and uncomfortable moments, but the most devastating aspect of the whole ordeal was the thought of not being able to paint (or doomscroll !!!!!). How would I cope? What gossip and news would I miss? More importantly, how was I going to cope with my intrusive thoughts and triggers without my paintbrush?
I obviously did cope, because here I am writing, quite comfortably, on a computer screen, but I have to say it was difficult. My eyes struggled to focus on anything, and I relied very heavily on sleep, painkillers and eyedrops for at least 4 days.
Coping Mechanism
I remember, so clearly, feeling really helpless and without mental focus for a few days, but thankfully I have developed other good coping mechanisms over the years, usually involving listening to music and podcasts. I have learned, through bitter experience, that life really is and can be unpredictable. Things happen. Disasters strike without any particular rhyme or reason. The key to surviving is being adaptable, open to change, and finding new and exciting ways to cope with life when old habits die hard.
Now where’s that paintbrush?
Until next time!
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Hey, there! If you enjoyed reading any of the above, why not take a look at some of my published work? Below you’ll find links to a number of short stories I’m lucky enough to have included in anthologies. I’d love to know what you think.
New Tales Of Old
Death Ship
Pestilence: Drabbles 1
Reaperman: Drabbles 3
The Musketeers Vs Cthulhu
Eldritch Investigations
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