Wednesday 14 June 2023

The Worst Seats In The House

Hello, dear reader!

Hot enough for you?

Yes, it would appear that summer has landed. Those few brief weeks of actual decent weather we, in these British Isles, tend to celebrate by complaining how hot it is.

And so, before the day becomes too melt-y, I’m taking advantage of the relatively early morn, a nice breeze, a pot of coffee, and a comfy seat on the couch to put down a few words of mild complaint.

Because, not all seats are quite as comfy.

Film Club
Last week, I bemoaned the lack of action in the Rankin household. The week before we’d done an impressive amount of nothing much, and that was reflected in the paucity of subject matter I had to ponder on.


This week, partially in answer to that problem, we (being myself, and my perpetually perfect wife, Tina) resolved to get out and do something.

We went to the cinema.

I know, in a way, that this was merely swapping four walls for four different walls, but the main attraction was the futuristic outer-space adventure of The Guardians Of The Galaxy (volume 3) which, due to various physical and mental health issues we’d been la in catching. And there lies the rub.

Pick A Card
You see, one small luxury myself and Tina allow ourselves are loyalty cards for Cineworld cinemas. It’s the kind of deal that, for one fixed monthly price, allows unlimited viewings and discounted treats, making the latter merely obscenely expensive.

We probably don’t get as much as we should from these cards, mainly due to the health issues mentioned above, but, when we’ve used them the experience has usually been positive.

The last two times, however, when we’ve been to see The Evil Dead Rise, and the aforementioned Guardians, it has been less so.

The reason for this is that on these last couple of occasions, instead of the newer theatres located upstairs, we were directed to the older, more cramped ones downstairs.


This in itself is not the issue though. No, the issue is the location of the disabled friendly seats.

Bum-Shuffle
In the newer screens, a space has been cleared toward the back of the theatre, for a wheelchair to park, allowing some elevation and distance from the action. In the older ones’ those spaces are front and centre of the very first row, about six feet from the screen and directly in the path of anyone entering or leaving. Not conducive to either neck strain, eye strain, or uninterrupted viewing.

So, in order to secure a better cinematic experience, on these occasions, I have left my wheelchair in the empty space, and bum-shuffled up the stairs to the third or fourth row back, risking life and limb (potentially my own) to find a better seat. Not ideal.

Now, as I hinted, I suspect the reason for the older, less disabled friendly environs was due to both films having been out for a little while and other, newer films coming out. I can understand this, but surely, when it come to gore-filled horror, or marvel spectaculars, a degree of understanding and thought could be implied,

Block-Busted?
Not everyone is going to be free to watch a film in the first week or so of release. Not everyone will find the slightly dated, and less disabled friendly facilities optimal for their viewing pleasure. Surely, among the newer films there are those that would benefit less from the more immersive experiences on offer (screen X , the wrap around thingy etc). Surely, of the eleven screens on offer, one of the ‘better’ ones could be held back for the more blockbuster-y offerings?




It might just be me. I might be asking too much. Perhaps what we need to do is sacrifice our cards, investigate a more thoroughly modern cinema with better facilities. Perhaps we just need to wait until the latest blockbuster comes out on the telly. It would be a shame, and it would put an end to something that has proved invaluable in getting us out of the house since Tina’s breakdown, but perhaps it’s time for the final credits to roll.

The End?

Until next time…

Hey, there! If you enjoyed reading any of the above, why not take a look at some of my published work? Below you’ll find links to a number of short stories I’m lucky enough to have included in anthologies. I’d love to know what you think

New Tales Of Old: Volume 2

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B09TMVTX9H/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Death Ship

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/9198684140/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_TWEMTA3KWK7T89QEZPF6?fbclid=IwAR322Fx5nfgVUQAA62ZZ6CUsNnBm8pbSxPanzz6Qkjg3vAv4ESipq7iKKhs

https://www.waterstones.com/book/death-ship/david-green/s-o-green/9789198684148?fbclid=IwAR2gP4CXHSG7wTccO39wOqXFtI81k0259Ep8DUM48Ki6kTUdlKoF3yafojA

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/9198684140/ref=ewc_pr_img_1?smid=A2XZ7JICGUQ1CX&psc=1&fbclid=IwAR2Wa6sGxb82_VCsC7l1CGXwHjsSwTheqba6jDX_G8EDsywZoGpC93nXr2w

Reaperman

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Reaperman-Drabbles-3-Legends-Night-ebook/dp/B099NNPTQ1A

Pestilence

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pestilence-Revelations-Black-Ink-Fiction/dp/B09MDLZGHY/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2VP38WZDWJVAF&keywords=black+ink+fiction&qid=1654090896&sprefix=black+ink+fiction%2Caps%2C218&sr=8-1

The Musketeers Vs Cthulhu

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Musketeers-Cthulhu-Court-King-Louis-ebook/dp/B09YQKQQB7/ref=sr_1_18?crid=2VP38WZDWJVAF&keywords=black+ink+fiction&qid=1654091002&sprefix=black+ink+fiction%2Caps%2C218&sr=8-18

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