The Simple Act Of Decluttering

Hello, dear reader!

It's little me again !!!! …. The ever patient, ever loving wifey.

Apart from recovering from a nasty bout of Covid - which resulted in 5 days of no taste, very little smell and no hearing in my left ear - I am doing ok - thanks for asking !

My mind however, is a very different story at the moment. To put it simply (cos I understand the simple much better), my mind feels like a very full rubbish bin, in dire need of emptying and cleaning.

I am a slight hoarder. In fact I think it definitely runs in our family, we are on the whole quite reluctant to get rid of anything, which can often cause utter chaos. I c0uld tell lots of stories about this, the most dramatic being the clearing of mums flat before she had to go into residential care due to her dementia, we found over 35 watches,40 Bibles and amongst lots and lots of books we found a viz annual ( those that know what viz is know why this was a shocker )

My upbringing wasn't easy, my mum bought up three kids, mostly without any input from my dad. This resulted in her having to be very frugal with any money she had, and we regularly made use of the charity shop and the ‘ oopsies’ section of the supermarket. Any treats in the house were either donated or saved for, and she would save everything - on the basis of ‘ if we don't use it or need it now, then we might need it later’. Mum learned many of her money spinning tricks from her own mum - who I am sure was magic as she could make very little last a very very long time, and she always had some change in her apron pocket, along with a nicely furred sweet that had been in there far too long.

I do try to throw things away, I do try not to over buy, I do try to steer clear of the buy one get one free offers, but often the body becomes weak when the spirit is strong !.

So after feeling like death last week with covid, On monday I decided that our clothing system needed a clear and a sort. Of course, this burst of energy had an ulterior motive - it did desperately need doing, but I had seen a number of new items of clothing on sale in preparation for summer. Out with the old, in with the new and all that !!!

There definitely were items of clothing that were past their best, there were items that fitted 10 years ago and will never fit again, and there were holes and broken zips galore. I tried very very hard to be frugal, but It was so difficult. A reality check clearly stated that I would never be a size 10 again, would never suit flowers, and would definitely never miraculously learn to sew or mend a zip. I didn't have a sibling to pass clothing on, and basically I really needed to clear out to make space, the clutter needed to be sorted.

Unfortunately, my mind gets super cluttered, and often causes me a great deal of issues because I refuse to get rid of thoughts, refuse to move on from experiences, and often keep hold of things that are damaged and cause me issue. I'm often lost in my own messy thoughts, my own negative emotions and this causes me distress and leads to anguish, which leads to self damage and self destruction.

After 48 years of this behaviour, at last I am learning techniques to help me cope, to help me deal with emotion, to help me deal with pain - and at last help me declutter my very very messy mind,

One of my most important discoveries over the last year or so is radical acceptance.

According to a DBT therapy resource:

'Radical acceptance is when you stop fighting reality, stop responding with impulsive or destructive behaviours when things aren't going the way you want them to, and let go of bitterness that may be keeping you trapped in a cycle of suffering.'

My simple way of looking at things would say that if I can't change it, then I just need to get rid of it out of my mind. I have spent, and still do to some extent, many many many hours going over the things of my past, and unfortunately I am no magician so I can't change anything in the past. But I can change how I deal with those memories, and deal with the now …… Accept the things I cannot change, have courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

It's definitely a work in progress for me, and luckily progress is being made - but like my cluttered wardrobe - the decluttering process needs to be a daily task, even a priority, and putting myself as a priority is going to take some time getting used to.


Until next time.

***


Hey, folks! If you would care to take a look at some of my more creative writing, then the links below will transport you to the magical worlds of a few anthologies my short (and in two cases, very short) stories have been included in. Feel free to check ’em out!

New Tales Of Old: Volume 2

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B09TMVTX9H/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Death Ship

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/9198684140/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_TWEMTA3KWK7T89QEZPF6?fbclid=IwAR322Fx5nfgVUQAA62ZZ6CUsNnBm8pbSxPanzz6Qkjg3vAv4ESipq7iKKhs

https://www.waterstones.com/book/death-ship/david-green/s-o-green/9789198684148?fbclid=IwAR2gP4CXHSG7wTccO39wOqXFtI81k0259Ep8DUM48Ki6kTUdlKoF3yafojA

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/9198684140/ref=ewc_pr_img_1?smid=A2XZ7JICGUQ1CX&psc=1&fbclid=IwAR2Wa6sGxb82_VCsC7l1CGXwHjsSwTheqba6jDX_G8EDsywZoGpC93nXr2w

Reaperman

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Reaperman-Drabbles-3-Legends-Night-ebook/dp/B099NNPTQ1A

Pestilence

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pestilence-Revelations-Black-Ink-Fiction/dp/B09MDLZGHY/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2VP38WZDWJVAF&keywords=black+ink+fiction&qid=1654090896&sprefix=black+ink+fiction%2Caps%2C218&sr=8-1

The Musketeers Vs Cthulhu

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Musketeers-Cthulhu-Court-King-Louis-ebook/dp/B09YQKQQB7/ref=sr_1_18?crid=2VP38WZDWJVAF&keywords=black+ink+fiction&qid=1654091002&sprefix=black+ink+fiction%2Caps%2C218&sr=8-18