Wednesday 8 December 2021

Not Stirred

Hello, dear readers!

The name’s Rankin, Mark Rankin.

No, doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, does it?

You will, of course, have got the reference (assuming you haven’t been living underneath a rock on a round the universe cruise for the last sixty years or so), and there is a very definite reason I made it.

No, I’ve not been busy foiling the nefarious plans of some insane genius, hellbent on global domination, and no, for some unfathomable reason, bikini-clad beauties have not been throwing themselves at me left right and centre every time I so much as cock a masculine eyebrow (baffling, ain’t it?).

What I have been doing, in case you hadn’t already guessed, is going to the cinema to watch the latest film in the James Bond franchise, and it is that visit which forms the core of today’s blog post.

No-No, No-No-No-No.
A few weeks back, you see, myself and my eternally magnificent wife, Tina, signed up to Cineworld Unlimited, a scheme that, for £15 a month, allows unlimited (I know, it’s a shock, isn’t it?) access to however many films you care to watch.


Obviously, not every film is to everyone’s taste and I, for example, would not want to watch West Side Story if I was paid £15. Partly because it’s a musical, and partly because there’s already a perfectly serviceable film of the same name and plotline out there. (it’s like the shot-for-shot remake of Psycho, I mean... why?)

Bond, however, well for me, that’s definitely one to watch on the big screen with its car chases, explosions, and non-stop action scenes, and so, with that in mind, I fluttered my eyelashes at Tina, got my sister-in-law, Jen (who introduced us to the passes) on board, and we set off.

Extra, Extra
The cinema we hit was one we had prior experience of. A pre-Covid while back, I went for a meal and a film with Tina and some friends and had the misfortune to watch the Lion King remake (seriously, has Hollywood run out of ideas or what?), a couple of hours I’ll never get back, and when we first got the Unlimited passes we went to watch Eternals. I knew, therefore, that the cinema had accessible screens, and even a lift to get to circumvent the stairs at the front of them. What I didn’t bank on was that No Time To Die was only being shown on the Imax screen, and Imax was £5 extra.


To be clear, this didn’t present any further access problems. An usher took us up in the lift and pointed out which door we needed and there was even a wheelchair sized gap between the seats at the back (I didn’t stay in my chair. As said seats looked and proved to be more comfortable). We even stayed sitting on the back row (of the movies on a Saturday night…), rather than try to find somewhere more central; something we had done for Eternals and which resulted in me struggling to regain a seat in my chair and much unsympathetic mirth on the part of my ultra-supportive wife.

Sky High
As for the film itself, well, it wasn’t my favourite Bond film, in fact it wasn’t even my favourite Daniel Craig Bond film but, (without being spoilery) it did lean into some classic elements, subvert a few expectations, and the ending was both excellent, unexpected, and leaves a lot of questions to be answered. For me it lacked a little in the spectacle stakes which, given the extra cost of Imax, was a little disappointing, and it never quite hit the heights of Skyfall, but it brought the curtain down on the Craig era well enough.


I’m not sure what the next cinema trip will be, Spiderman: No way Home is out as we speak so that is a prime suspect (I’m a geek, sue me), but there are others, and with the silly season already fully ramped up, and the cinema located in a shopping centre we will need to pay careful attention to our timing.

Now who do I see about a refund for Lion King?



Until next time…

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Hey, folks! If you would care to take a look at some of my more creative writing, then the links below will transport you to the magical worlds of two anthologies my short (and in one case, very short) stories have been included in. Feel free to check’em out!

Death Ship

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/9198684140/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_TWEMTA3KWK7T89QEZPF6?fbclid=IwAR322Fx5nfgVUQAA62ZZ6CUsNnBm8pbSxPanzz6Qkjg3vAv4ESipq7iKKhs

https://www.waterstones.com/book/death-ship/david-green/s-o-green/9789198684148?fbclid=IwAR2gP4CXHSG7wTccO39wOqXFtI81k0259Ep8DUM48Ki6kTUdlKoF3yafojA

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/9198684140/ref=ewc_pr_img_1?smid=A2XZ7JICGUQ1CX&psc=1&fbclid=IwAR2Wa6sGxb82_VCsC7l1CGXwHjsSwTheqba6jDX_G8EDsywZoGpC93nXr2w

Reaperman

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Reaperman-Drabbles-3-Legends-Night-ebook/dp/B099NNPTQ1A

Pestilence

https://www.amazon.com/Pestilence-Revelations-Black-Ink-Fiction/dp/B09MDLZGHY/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Pestilence%20black%20ink%20fiction&qid=1638479773&sr=8-1&fbclid=IwAR1UVHxFUmnQ9FMKwGYTnujDcWL-HDKCUBdky4RYa-aDQaO-TGhWk_1_xb4

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