Hello, dear readers!
You are what you eat.
That’s the theory, anyway. Truth be told, I can’t remember eating a big flat blob of a bloke with a bowling ball stuck up his jumper, but that could possibly be my memory.
No, if you truly are what you eat, then I should probably more closely resemble a nice piece of steak, cooked on the rare side and served with all the trimmings, because I’ve eaten exactly that not once, but twice in the last few days.
Family Time
We’ll start at the very beginning (a very good place to start), which, in this case, was Sunday. A day that’s been in the diary (that I don’t have) for a while. A day that had been set aside for a much anticipated meetup, which had gone unmet for far too long. The Rankin family Xmas dinner.
Yes, I know. It was a touch on the early side, what with the big day being almost two weeks to go. As my parents were due to flee the country for decidedly sunnier climes before the country went into lockdown, and the previous day had seen my biggest little sister’s birthday, however, it seemed like the ideal time to gather the extended family into one pub-shaped room for some festive fun.
And boy, was fun had.
High Steaks
I mean, I’m talking personally here, but everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves too. The setting of the local (to most of the family) pub my nieces work in setting things off nicely.
The company, which comprised my loving wife, Tina (I do take her to the best places), my parents, two sisters, with accompanying spouses (alright, one spouse, and one almost-spouse), two nephews, two nieces and accompanying boyfriends, two nephews who are a touch too young to find girls anything but smelly and annoying, and one uncle and partner, made for crowded tables of much mirth, merriment, and banter, some of which was quite understandably aimed at me and my amazing ever-expanding waistline.
That last item was something which only benefitted from the repast which was soon set before us. It was a two course affair, with some (i.e. me) choosing starters, and some going for puds. The main event, however, was a turkey dinner with mash, roasties, stuffing, and pigs-in-blankets with bowls of carrots, parsnips, and sprouts served alongside.
That is, it was for most people.
One awkward soul, who might not be sat too far from his keyboard at this precise moment, had to go and order the steak instead, didn’t he? He had to be different. He had to cost his parents an extra £3 and be all bah-humbug at the same time.
Not that there wasn’t method in this seeming madness.
Pigging Out
Your friendly neighbourhood seated person has a food intolerance you see. I am, in fact, incapable of eating anything that has been sliced, minced, squeezed or otherwise obtained from a pig. No pork chops, no gammon, no bacon, and definitely no pigs-in-blanket. Even the stuffing is a risk worth avoiding, and when you take into account the added danger of things being cooked together, well, it all seemed to a little too perilous. Hence, one rare steak, chips and onion rings. (I did help myself to some of the communal carrots and ‘snips. The sprouts, of course, I avoided on account of them being sweaty little balls of pure evil).
And that, with the addition of gift giving and receiving, was that. A most welcome chance to catch up with the fam, let down the hair I got specially cut the day before, and hasten the need for another notch on the belt. It also, thanks to certain gifts of a financial nature, led straight into steak night the second., an event I think I’ll save for next week’s offering.
Just to raise the steaks. (I’m sorry. I’ll get my coat)
Until next time…
Hey, folks! If you would care to take a look at some of my more creative writing, then the links below will transport you to the magical worlds of two anthologies my short (and in one case, very short) stories have been included in. Feel free to check’em out!
Death ShipReaperman
Just to raise the steaks. (I’m sorry. I’ll get my coat)
Until next time…
***
Hey, folks! If you would care to take a look at some of my more creative writing, then the links below will transport you to the magical worlds of two anthologies my short (and in one case, very short) stories have been included in. Feel free to check’em out!
Death ShipReaperman
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Reaperman-Drabbles-3-Legends-Night-ebook/dp/B099NNPTQ1A
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