Wednesday 29 September 2021

Unseasonal

Hello, dear readers!

Time flies when you’re having fun.

This isn’t an instruction. I don’t want you to get your stopwatch out in your next moments of enjoyment to see how quickly the common house-fly can cover 100 metres. It would seem fruit(fly)less.

No, I’m simply referring to the somewhat elastic nature of time. How on some dreary, rain-soaked Tuesday (The worst day of the week. Fight me) afternoon, an hour can last an eternity, while in the midst of a busy and enjoyable Friday eve, the same hour is gone in the blink of the proverbial.

It works on longer timescales, too, especially, I believe, as one gets older. Take this year, it’s flown by. I mean, one minute you’re making your New-Year resolutions and the next the year’s nearly over.

I mean, it is Christmas next week, isn’t it?

Channel Hopping
It’s not? We’re only at the three-quarter mark of the year? Well, blow me down and call me Ebeneezer. You could certainly have fooled me. I mean, just look at the adverts on the box.


They’re not in full force as yet (thankfully) but they are there. Those adverts that make you feel wholly unprepared for the big day lying a mere THREE #$@! % MONTHS in our future. That’s barely enough time to do anything.

It’s not just the ads, either. I swear that just yesterday (the 28th of September) I saw a film on the TV Guide which featured an elf, brought up as a human, discovering his festive magic powers. Needless to say, I moved on to other channels pretty quickly.

The Hardest Word
And the shops? Don’t even get me started on the shops. Myself and my wonderous wifey, Tina, took my mother-in-law, Gwen, to Tong Garden Centre, a local-ish place that sells clothes, food, toys and decorations on top of its plants, on Monday. It was like a trip to Santa’s grotto.

To be fair, the Xmas trees were only just being put out, ready for the big a-whole-quarter-of-the-year-early rush, but the baubles were in full effect, along with tinsel, wooden soldiers, and large plush gnomes I’m reliably informed are called Norberts. This last item caused a small bone of contention, as Tina coveted them greatly, and no is never a pleasant word to hear.


It seemed too much, too early. I mean, I know Christmas is coming, but the geese are still keeping at least one eye on their weight, and we have multiple celebrations to come before Cliff and Buble are freed for their yearly reign of terror.

Oh, My Days
I’m talking about Hallowe’en, a holiday celebrated in countries the world over and celebrated twice as hard in the US. Then there’s the far less widely celebrated and very British tradition of Guy Fawkes night, the burning the effigy of a known terrorist to celebrate the attempted destruction of the seat of English politics and assassination of a reigning monarch. We eat toffee at that one.

Then there're the festivals of various non-christian religions, including Samhain, Yom-Kippur and Diwali. On the more secular side, there’s Armistice Day and Remembrance Sunday, and if you’re Stateside Thanksgiving and Ungrateful Colonial… sorry, I mean Independence Day (not the film). And that’s not even counting birthdays. It’s a lot.


Wait for It
I know this might all seem a little grinch-y (damn, my secret is revealed!), but the point is there’s so much more to the coming months than one day in late December, no matter what religious significance you may attach to it. There’s life to be lived, and a whole lot of expected and unexpected fun to be had for all sorts of reasons, so why not do that. Why look forward with so much relish to the John Lewis advert when the new Bond film is out? Why not forget about Xmas for just a few weeks more and enjoy the autumn colours while they’re there.

Christmas may be coming, but it is not yet here.



Until next week.

No comments:

Post a Comment