Hello, dear readers!
There are some things in life which seem designed to make us feel old. The relentless and increasingly baffling march of technology. The chorus of creaks and twinges that accompany each new day. Conversation in which only around 70% (if that) of the words convey any kind of meaning at all. That unfortunate time you catch yourself saying ‘Kids today!’ or reflecting on when all this were nowt but fields.
Yeah, alright, that is just me getting old, reactionary, and just a little bit Compo Simmonite. I guess it happens to the best of us.
There is one other thing, however. Something which in reality has nothing to do with me, but is guaranteed to make me feel ancient beyond my years, and that’s other people getting older.
Birthday Days
The next couple of days see not one, but two family birthdays, one of which is somewhat of a landmark. They are days of celebration; days of much rejoicing, overeating, and in at least one case I suspect a day of (accelerated) alcoholic indulgence. They’re also days which will leave me feeling like Methuselah’s older but less well-known brother (Alf).
It’s a toss-up which of the next couple of days will be more impactful. Today, when the youngest of my two nieces, Holly, turns 15 (happy Birthday if you’re reading) or tomorrow, when my step-daughter, Sarah, reaches the grand old age of 21.
A Tall Story
Out of the two, I’ve known Holly since the day she was born and witnessed as she has grown from a, um, spirited child to a flourishing young lady who, from her towering height, must have some giraffe DNA in her genetic make-up. Either that or her great-great-great-great grandad was a stepladder. I know talking to her for any length of time is enough to give me neck ache, anyway.
Sarah, I’ve known for less time, but, as a member of her parenting team, I’ve got to see her develop from a headstrong, opinionated, and principled 10-year-old into a headstrong, opinionated, and principled woman. In that time, I’ve seen her single-mindedness as she took her long-term ambition to become a paramedic (or possibly a teacher) and has taken it to the very cusp of being a reality. In fact, if it weren’t for our favourite pandemic, she would probably be driving a nee-naw right now.
Zoom In
This is no offence to Holly at all, but out of the two birthdays it is Sarah’s that impacts me most. This is possibly because of my role as her step-dad, and almost certainly because of the massive changes I’ve seen in her life over the last few years. In the time since I first met a shy little girl and played some weird Wii game with her, I’ve seen Sarah tackle her GCSEs, her A-levels, move to London, start University, get into a committed relationship (there’s an argument they should both be committed, if I’m honest), take up a post with the Student Union and deal admirably with all of it.
These are, as I’ve noted in several previous posts, interesting times we live in and I can only imagine what it’s like to be going through such a transitory stage of life during them. Of course, Sarah, being the social butterfly she undoubtedly is, has forged a new friend base in that there London, but on her 21st, one of the most important birthdays of anyone’s life, she will be unable to see any family, other than through the magic of Zoom, and there can’t even be a chance to visit, either. There won’t be a meal, or the chance to physically hand over presents and witness that gleam of pleasure (or quickly covered up disappointment) when the paper gets torn off. Of course the same is true for Holly, but at least she can celebrate with the help of her mum, dad, and sister, Even if her uncle Mark won’t be there.
Of course, at the girls requisite ages parents and family aren’t necessarily the first thing on the celebrant’s mind. If personal experience is anything to go by, that will probably be a direct competition between mates and in Sarah’s case at least alcohol (or some combination of the two). Hopefully, for Holly, it leans more toward cake.
Birthday Presence
In Sarah’s case, the relationship between her and Tina, her mum, has never been closer, despite the miles that separates them and I know for a fact that my lovely wife will miss the chance to hug her girl on this most special of days. This has led to a determination for us to do as much as is humanly possible to help Sarah celebrate the day from a distance. We might not be able to be there, but measures have been taken which will mean our presence will be felt, even in our absence (and no, I’m not saying any more than that).
This is no offence to Holly at all, but out of the two birthdays it is Sarah’s that impacts me most. This is possibly because of my role as her step-dad, and almost certainly because of the massive changes I’ve seen in her life over the last few years. In the time since I first met a shy little girl and played some weird Wii game with her, I’ve seen Sarah tackle her GCSEs, her A-levels, move to London, start University, get into a committed relationship (there’s an argument they should both be committed, if I’m honest), take up a post with the Student Union and deal admirably with all of it.
These are, as I’ve noted in several previous posts, interesting times we live in and I can only imagine what it’s like to be going through such a transitory stage of life during them. Of course, Sarah, being the social butterfly she undoubtedly is, has forged a new friend base in that there London, but on her 21st, one of the most important birthdays of anyone’s life, she will be unable to see any family, other than through the magic of Zoom, and there can’t even be a chance to visit, either. There won’t be a meal, or the chance to physically hand over presents and witness that gleam of pleasure (or quickly covered up disappointment) when the paper gets torn off. Of course the same is true for Holly, but at least she can celebrate with the help of her mum, dad, and sister, Even if her uncle Mark won’t be there.
Of course, at the girls requisite ages parents and family aren’t necessarily the first thing on the celebrant’s mind. If personal experience is anything to go by, that will probably be a direct competition between mates and in Sarah’s case at least alcohol (or some combination of the two). Hopefully, for Holly, it leans more toward cake.
Birthday Presence
In Sarah’s case, the relationship between her and Tina, her mum, has never been closer, despite the miles that separates them and I know for a fact that my lovely wife will miss the chance to hug her girl on this most special of days. This has led to a determination for us to do as much as is humanly possible to help Sarah celebrate the day from a distance. We might not be able to be there, but measures have been taken which will mean our presence will be felt, even in our absence (and no, I’m not saying any more than that).
There’s a saying about one’s 21st. A song, in fact. One that mentions having the key of the door. In lockdown there’s a bitter irony contained in the expression, but hopefully it won’t be too long before that key can be used to unlock the world once more, and when it does that hug can be received.
Until then… Well, you’l just have to wait and see, Sarah.
next time…
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