My Mama Mia

Hello, dear reader!

It just little me again - the sainted wifey …

I just wanted to share some thoughts with you today, thoughts that I hope make you think, inspire you, and even might even make you laugh.

The rankers have had a busy few weeks. Mark touched on this in his last blog when he chatted about a wedding anniversary, a hotel stay - and a very busy and expensive March.

Visiting Time
As some of you may be aware, My mum has vascular dementia which is, unfortunately, progressing very rapidly. This means that we have to emotionally prepare for visiting her (she lives in an EMI unit about 15 minutes drive away), because we now visit someone who rarely recognises us, and has a very changed and challenging personality due to the progression of her dementia. Friday of last week was one such day, we had arranged to go and see her as a family - which included picking up my brother from Huddersfield.

 My brother is a very unassuming man, very gentle, very emotional - and has, at times, suffered with his own mental health issues. I'm sure he wouldn't mind me saying that he has always had an extremely strong bond with ‘our’ mum (maybe even a mummy's boy!). He finds seeing mum so very difficult, and often has sleepless nights and really anxious thoughts when we plan to go and see her.

Deep Clean
Earlier that week we had received a phone call informing us that there was a possible outbreak of Scabies (mmmmm lovely) in mum's home, but they were getting treatment sorted, and we would be fine to visit her on Friday, so myself and Mark, my lovely sister, and my brother and sister in law all made our way to mum's home - only to be met by a member of staff at the door. (In actual fact the member of staff came out to meet us, so we didn't even get as far as the front door!!!). She promptly informed us that they hadn't even started treating the residents, and it really wouldn't be wise to visit until all the relevant treatments and precautions had been put in place.

Well, I felt like a deflated balloon.

I had also had a really unsettled and anxious night, and had geared myself up to seeing mum - whatever mood we would find her in. I felt like I had failed my daughterly duties - especially with mother's day coming up - but I really couldn't risk mine or marks health (and scabies is particularly pesky to get rid of), and the rest of my family felt the same, so we left cards and gifts for staff to give to mum, and sent her our love, even though physically we couldn't see her.

Not surprisingly my brother was equally upset and deflated, so we decided to take the opportunity to treat ourselves to a coffee catch up - much needed as we hadn't been together since before Christmas.

Magic Moments
Mothers day then came around, and although I am the luckiest mum alive (my daughter constantly makes me proud!) I have to admit I felt a bit sad and cheated. Our mum is the most amazing and resilient human I know, but now she is disappearing in front of our eyes - and it literally breaks my heart. My only comfort is my memories, and believe me - I have plenty of fantastic, hilariously funny, tender moments of my lovely mum.

Mothers day, I agree, is a completely lovely way to celebrate our mums, or the special and important females in our lives. But often it can shine a spotlight on the people who can't celebrate this occasion for difficult reasons. I am glad that there are step-mum cards, special grandma mothers day cards, and celebrations of occasions that probably are now considered much more normal than they used to be. Single parents, same sex marriages, adoption, etc etc are all very much a part of our diverse society, and therefore deserve to be celebrated - and rightly so.


Until next time…


#


Hey, there! If you enjoyed reading any of the above, why not take a look at some of my published work? Below you’ll find links to a number of short stories I’m lucky enough to have included in anthologies. I’d love to know what you think


New Tales Of Old


Death Ship


Pestilence: Drabbles 1


Reaperman: Drabbles 3


The Musketeers Vs Cthulhu


Eldritch Investigations