The Last Word

Hello, dear reader!

So …. In theory, the Mrs seated perspective has the last word of 2022, I rarely have the last word so this is particularly exciting.

I don't know about you, but I get increasingly fed up with people asking me whether I am ready for Christmas, and unfortunately this question seems to come around earlier every year. I’m sure I saw Christmas decorations appearing in the shop as early as October, which is just ridiculous.

Humbug

There just seems to be a desperate need for people to be prepared and organised. I can sort of understand that people need to be organised when they have big families, or young children etc …… but fortunately I don't have a big family, and I've not got little children, a perfect excuse for me to be my normal unorganised self!

I have to mention here that my husband can often be described as grumpy or grinchy during the run up to the festive season. He refuses to even begin to be jolly until it's actually December, and he increasingly gets less grumpy the closer to Christmas day we get. This past year has been one of the most challenging years for our family, so I think this has added to the lack of enthusiasm we have experienced for Christmas.

Keeping Mum
My amazing mum has vascular dementia - which unfortunately is advancing very quickly, and those readers who have experience of dementia will agree when I say it's one of the most distressing and cruel diseases ever.

My mum brought 3 kids up on her own, looked after her own mum, worked full time, cooked, cleaned, and still managed to have the most amazing sense of humour ever. She faced struggles I can't even imagine, but faced them with a determination like nothing I've ever seen.

In my last guest blog, I talked about my self harm and mental health issues that I’ve battled with for more years than I want to admit. My mum was my greatest support, trying her best to help me cope, and cheering me up when I felt like giving up. I count myself very lucky to have a mum that is my best friend too.

So when she was diagnosed with vascular dementia about 5 years ago, I was devastated. But at the point of diagnosis she was still driving, still living independently, and still able to support our family in the way she always has. I was hopeful that we would have an exception to the rule with her, and her dementia would progress slowly. (Vascular dementia is known to progress quite quickly unfortunately).

Within a few months of her diagnosis, she decided to stop driving …… and that's when things declined quite rapidly. She began to forget to take medication, forget to eat, and unfortunately became quite unsafe living on her own. She lived in an assisted living complex, and increasingly needed more and more support, she also became quite unsettled - especially during the night, and began to wander. We as a family tried to support where we could, but it came to a point where we had to make the difficult decision to move her to somewhere she would be looked after 24 hours a day, somewhere safe. Unfortunately, this all happened during the covid pandemic, which made life so difficult for us, but especially difficult for mum as we couldn't visit very often.

Year On Year
Fast forward, then (or you'll be reading all day) to this year. Dementia is slowly robbing us of our mum, she shuffles when she walks, struggles to dress and look after herself, and her speech has become very confused. More often than not she doesn't know who we are, and her poor mind seems to live in the past.

It's just cruel …. And we are struggling to cope. We try to keep smiling, and positive - but it's bloody difficult!

Luckily for me, 10 years ago I married an amazing man, who obviously isn't my mum ….. But is my greatest support. It's a strange feeling, but I miss my mum's wise and challenging words to me when I was struggling, and I grieve for the strong woman she was. But I have to remember that she's not gone anywhere just yet, and with the support of my husband and my family, we have to make the most of every moment with her, no matter how difficult and upsetting it feels.

So as I sit, looking at my lovely Christmas tree (which only went up a week ago!!) I remind myself of the beautiful things I have in my life, and try to ignore the negative thoughts.

I'm pretty sure that 2023 is going to be just as challenging as 2022, but maybe I’ll cope better somehow.

If my mum has taught me anything, it's that it’s the will to survive that gets you through, and the fact that we don't have to struggle alone.


Until next time.

***

Hey, folks! If you would care to take a look at some of my more creative writing, then the links below will transport you to the magical worlds of a few anthologies my short (and in two cases, very short) stories have been included in. Feel free to check ’em out!

New Tales Of Old: Volume 2

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B09TMVTX9H/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Death Ship

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/9198684140/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_TWEMTA3KWK7T89QEZPF6?fbclid=IwAR322Fx5nfgVUQAA62ZZ6CUsNnBm8pbSxPanzz6Qkjg3vAv4ESipq7iKKhs

https://www.waterstones.com/book/death-ship/david-green/s-o-green/9789198684148?fbclid=IwAR2gP4CXHSG7wTccO39wOqXFtI81k0259Ep8DUM48Ki6kTUdlKoF3yafojA

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/9198684140/ref=ewc_pr_img_1?smid=A2XZ7JICGUQ1CX&psc=1&fbclid=IwAR2Wa6sGxb82_VCsC7l1CGXwHjsSwTheqba6jDX_G8EDsywZoGpC93nXr2w

Reaperman

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Reaperman-Drabbles-3-Legends-Night-ebook/dp/B099NNPTQ1A

Pestilence

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pestilence-Revelations-Black-Ink-Fiction/dp/B09MDLZGHY/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2VP38WZDWJVAF&keywords=black+ink+fiction&qid=1654090896&sprefix=black+ink+fiction%2Caps%2C218&sr=8-1

The Musketeers Vs Cthulhu

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Musketeers-Cthulhu-Court-King-Louis-ebook/dp/B09YQKQQB7/ref=sr_1_18?crid=2VP38WZDWJVAF&keywords=black+ink+fiction&qid=1654091002&sprefix=black+ink+fiction%2Caps%2C218&sr=8-18