New Loo Blues... A Moving Story

Hello Dear Readers!

Home wasn't built in a day. Jane Sherwood Ace
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_home3.ht

Home wasn't built in a day

 Jane Sherwood Ace

Home wasn't built in a day. Jane Sherwood Ace
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_home3.html

Home wasn't built in a day. Jane Sherwood Ace
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_home3.html

Exciting times are upon as at Seated Perspective HQ. The previous week has been busy, slightly stressful and potentially… life changing.

Allow me to elucidate.

At the moment my beloved wife Tina and I are renting our little love nest. This was a necessity forced upon us by my inability to sell the flat I was living in before I met my amazing better half. It was, you see, more than just a smidge unfortunate that as we started our life together as man and wife the world was going through one of the largest property crashes in modern history. Timing, as they say, is everything. Now my bachelor pad was a two bed flat, ideal for young couples starting out in life or those flying the family nest and taking those first wobbly steps towards independence… And therein lay the problem. 

You see, dear readers, young couples and first time buyers were the exact people that were rendered practically unable to buy their first home when the financial house of cards collapsed. The lenders risk profile changed dramatically, almost overnight, from dishing out the dosh to all and sundry with a minimum of questioning to only lending to people who could prove without a shadow of a doubt that they absolutely, one hundred percent, didn’t need to borrow any money at all in the first place. Thus it was that it took three long years and two large price drops before I was unable to unload what had become a real albatross around my neck.

That is all now safely behind us however and we are finally able to move forward and actually buy our forever home together. The exciting news is that two days ago an offer was made that could soon see us become home owners at long last. Of course, as I’m sure you’ve worked out, this has not been plain sailing.

We currently reside in the lovely town of Mirfield, just outside the city of Huddersfield, in my native West Yorkshire. One feature of said hamlet is an abundance of bungalows, which of course is a dream for a wheelchair user. The ability to have everything on one level, including bedroom and toilet, seems tailor made. It was with this is in mind that, after months of searching, we have decided on buying our very own… Townhouse.

Um. What? A townhouse?  You ask. Isn’t that one of those tall, narrow buildings? One of those that inevitably feature stairs? Well yes, you would be right, and that’s exactly what our chosen property is. The reason we’ve seemingly perversely plumped on it, other than its loveliness, is that it is currently occupied by a fellow wheelchair user which means that it has been converted for disabled usage. Doors have been widened, kitchen worktops have been lowered, and perhaps most importantly, a stair lift has already been installed!

Impressive, isn’t it. Almost meant to be (if you believe in such concepts.)  A straight out of the box, made to measure wheelchair friendly(ish) home. We’ve even bought some stunning wall art from last week’ photoshoot (see Picture Perfect) and know exactly which wall it will live on.  Perfection. 

Just wait there for one cotton-picking second though, because there is one more uphill bend on this crazy rollercoaster ride. One more fly in the ointment, if you will. In order to make the house an absolutely nailed on perfect fit, a downstairs loo would be something I would be particularly keen on, and this is something the house lacks. Having a sensitive stomach means that having a loo close at hand is always a bonus, as I’m sure you can imagine. The prospect of taking a Prozac paced, Thora Hird style ride upstairs to get to the only lavatory in the house therefore, does not exactly fill me with happy thoughts.

via GIPHY

All of which brings me back to the trying and slightly hectic last seven days. There is a cupboard situated in the hallway of our prospective new home, you see. This cupboard could, potentially, house the desired facilities (The water closet?). The question was, would a loo (and sink of course) fit? And was the required plumbing possible?  To date. Within the last four days. I have made and received phone calls numbering well into double digits, to the councils Independent Living department, to the estate agent, back to the council, back to the estate agents (ad infinitum) to try and nail down the feasibility of the facilities. 

Unfortunately the local authorities won’t come round to actually look at the space until we’ve bought the property, which is, of course, ever so slightly late in the day from our point of view. We have been assured that the measurements h estate agents provided us with “should not” be an issue, although it truly would be the smallest room in the house, and with the potential potty palace being situated to one side of the kitchen and underneath the bathroom, plumbing (I’m hoping.) will be achievable.

We’re on a much needed holiday next week, and our offer is, as we speak, yet to be formally accepted. All things being equal though, and with a decent following wind, the Seated Perspective clan could be looking forward to new quarters in the not too distant future. Exciting times indeed!

Wish us luck.

Until next time…