If man’s best friend is a dog, then I don’t know what a cat is meant to be.
A bloody nuisance would be my best bet at the moment.
Not that I have anything against cat’s as a whole you understand (sorry, mum, I don’t) but when it comes to specifics there’s one feline in particular who’s taking the whole ‘nine lives’ thing and testing it to destruction.
Let me explain.
Out The Bag
We, that is, myself and my wúnder-wifey, Tina, share our home with three cats and one dog.
Of the feline three, (three generations of the same family tree, no less) one is a scaredy-cat mummy's boy, one a complete badass, and the third, a portly ditz who has been known to crawl over Tina to get to me.
It is that third puss who is causing us cat-niptions.
You see, as with a lot of people in this fair-ish country, Tina and I have been taking advantage of the unseasonably fair weather by opening the odd window. Not going out, you understand, that would be far too extreme, but simply letting the spring in.
And the cats out.
Deja Mew
This isn’t too much of a problem with Mags (the badass) or Giles (the mummy’s boy )as they both know exactly where they live, who feeds them, and, In Giles’ case, that the outside world is a scary place, full of unseen threats that pop into existence as soon as the door is shut.
Sunny, my portly ditz, is however, a bit different. She is equally spookable, but, rather than mewing to be let in, she has a tendency to run away. Something which has happened on two previous occasions in the last ten years, and has now happened again.
Four weeks ago.
Now, as I say, this isn’t her first extended trip away and, as the last time it happened we spent ore than one evening trying to coax her off the roof of our bungalow, we weren’t too alarmed when, after a few days the only sighting of her was, once again, on the roof.
However…
Trap Clap
Those sightings of her dried up to the extent we sent out the search parties, contacted The Cat Protection League for a humane trap for the back garden, and popped a message on the local facebook group. Something which yielded rewards in the form of a neighbour who lives on the street behind ours taking a picture of her in her garden. Armed with this knowledge we married our search and, with said neighbour’s blessing moved the trap to her back garden.
Which, so far, has achieved nothing.
There have been further sightings of Sunny, and she has been seen flirting with the trap (not in that way). She seems clever enough to reach in with her paw far enough to rescue some kibbles without triggering the pressure plate. Something which astounds me, as I’ve always held the opinion that, while lovely, she ‘s not the brightest animal in the world. Perhaps, when she’s back, I should think about training her up.
Access Ability
Of course, getting her back comes first and that is slow going. We have worked out that she is nesting in another neighbours garden, underneath their shed or garage, but as said garden is only accessible through the house, and as said neighbour seems to be away, getting to her there is pretty much impossible
However…
Trap Clap
Those sightings of her dried up to the extent we sent out the search parties, contacted The Cat Protection League for a humane trap for the back garden, and popped a message on the local facebook group. Something which yielded rewards in the form of a neighbour who lives on the street behind ours taking a picture of her in her garden. Armed with this knowledge we married our search and, with said neighbour’s blessing moved the trap to her back garden.
Which, so far, has achieved nothing.
There have been further sightings of Sunny, and she has been seen flirting with the trap (not in that way). She seems clever enough to reach in with her paw far enough to rescue some kibbles without triggering the pressure plate. Something which astounds me, as I’ve always held the opinion that, while lovely, she ‘s not the brightest animal in the world. Perhaps, when she’s back, I should think about training her up.
Access Ability
Of course, getting her back comes first and that is slow going. We have worked out that she is nesting in another neighbours garden, underneath their shed or garage, but as said garden is only accessible through the house, and as said neighbour seems to be away, getting to her there is pretty much impossible
Still, we live in hope. With luck said neighbour will return shortly, or Sunny will stop being a stubborn spooked madam and reply to our gentle coaxing. With luck, we can prevent a cat-astrrophe, a cat-aclysm of misfortune, and call her back from her cat-walk without too much cat-erwauling.
That would be purrr-fect.
Until next time.
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Hey, there! If you enjoyed reading any of the above, why not take a look at some of my published work? Below you’ll find links to a number of short stories I’m lucky enough to have included in anthologies. I’d love to know what you think.
New Tales Of Old
Death Ship
Pestilence: Drabbles 1
Reaperman: Drabbles 3
The Musketeers Vs Cthulhu
Eldritch Investigations
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