Not sure whether you are lucky or not …. But I promised my husband that I would chat to you today, and I always try to make good of my promises.
As it happens, I do have some news to share. So here goes ………….
I often think in song, so today is no exception, the perfect song for today would be
‘It's not where you start, it's where you finish ‘
About 12 months ago I began my therapy journey, after many months of struggle, self harm, and suicidal thoughts. Like so many people, I certainly did not relish the thought of sitting in a circle, talking about my problems, meditating and getting in touch with my inner child. I was reassured that this course was different (Structural Clinical Management) by my mental health practitioner, and I trusted her enough to know she wouldn't put me through something that ultimately wasn't going to be beneficial to me.
So, I really did step into the unknown, unknown building, unknown group of people and unknown therapists leading the group. After all it was just a day out of my mundane week, so I just thought I would just attend, keep my mouth shut and put up with an uncomfortable 2 hours.
As I found out later, I wasn't the only one feeling these feels.
The first few weeks were pretty quiet and tense, as people worked each other out and tried to find common ground. It certainly helped that our group leader was funny, enigmatic and really liked to swear, which I found very amusing if i'm honest. She managed to put us all at ease so quickly, and I began to feel like there was a possibility that I wasn't on my own in the way I was feeling.
My breakdown had made me feel very alone, very insular, and I was happy to stay at home. I felt that when I did go out, people stared at me because of my self harm, and my anxiety was often really crippling.
It did feel alien being with people who also had self harm scars, who talked about crippling anxiety, and who bravely shared stories that in so many ways were remarkably similar to my own story. Being in a room with a group of people who just ‘ knew’ was the most amazing feeling ever.
As I found out later, I wasn't the only one feeling these feels.
The first few weeks were pretty quiet and tense, as people worked each other out and tried to find common ground. It certainly helped that our group leader was funny, enigmatic and really liked to swear, which I found very amusing if i'm honest. She managed to put us all at ease so quickly, and I began to feel like there was a possibility that I wasn't on my own in the way I was feeling.
My breakdown had made me feel very alone, very insular, and I was happy to stay at home. I felt that when I did go out, people stared at me because of my self harm, and my anxiety was often really crippling.
It did feel alien being with people who also had self harm scars, who talked about crippling anxiety, and who bravely shared stories that in so many ways were remarkably similar to my own story. Being in a room with a group of people who just ‘ knew’ was the most amazing feeling ever.
Again, as I found out later, I wasn't the only one feeling these feels.
Part of this particular therapy course is that you follow it for 6 months, then you repeat the course. It’s split into modules, so people don't have to start at module 0ne. This meant that other people joined as the course progressed.
This really was beneficial, and meant that we had the opportunity to meet new people every so often, sharing stories and sharing experiences. We got to know people on a pretty deep level quickly, and that didn't feel strange or alien at all.
Throughout the course, we learned distraction techniques, learned how to radically accept our past, learned TIPP skills, and more importantly - we learned that we were not alone in our struggles, and often found ourselves solving each other's problems (relationship issues, job issues, etc), we also laughed ……. A lot.
We actually connected in a way I have never felt before, the group quickly became family and I looked forwards to Fridays. I learned many other things (some are not suitable for sharing in this blog!), but most importantly I met fellow survivors who have given me the encouragement to both be myself, and share my story to help others - and I'm sure that even though the group has now officially finished - we will continue to support each other for many many years to come.
Until next time…
Hey, there! If you enjoyed reading any of the above, why not take a look at some of my published work? Below you’ll find links to a number of short stories I’m lucky enough to have included in anthologies. I’d love to know what you think
New Tales Of Old: Volume 2
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B09TMVTX9H/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Death Ship
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/9198684140/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_TWEMTA3KWK7T89QEZPF6?fbclid=IwAR322Fx5nfgVUQAA62ZZ6CUsNnBm8pbSxPanzz6Qkjg3vAv4ESipq7iKKhs
https://www.waterstones.com/book/death-ship/david-green/s-o-green/9789198684148?fbclid=IwAR2gP4CXHSG7wTccO39wOqXFtI81k0259Ep8DUM48Ki6kTUdlKoF3yafojA
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/9198684140/ref=ewc_pr_img_1?smid=A2XZ7JICGUQ1CX&psc=1&fbclid=IwAR2Wa6sGxb82_VCsC7l1CGXwHjsSwTheqba6jDX_G8EDsywZoGpC93nXr2w
Reaperman
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Reaperman-Drabbles-3-Legends-Night-ebook/dp/B099NNPTQ1A
Pestilence
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pestilence-Revelations-Black-Ink-Fiction/dp/B09MDLZGHY/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2VP38WZDWJVAF&keywords=black+ink+fiction&qid=1654090896&sprefix=black+ink+fiction%2Caps%2C218&sr=8-1
The Musketeers Vs Cthulhu
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Musketeers-Cthulhu-Court-King-Louis-ebook/dp/B09YQKQQB7/ref=sr_1_18?crid=2VP38WZDWJVAF&keywords=black+ink+fiction&qid=1654091002&sprefix=black+ink+fiction%2Caps%2C218&sr=8-18
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