Trouble And Strife

Hello dear readers!

At the risk of sounding a little like a broken record, these are not the easiest of times.

As anyone who has endured this blog for a while will know, my recent diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis, piling on top of my long term Spina Bifida have made life rather… Interesting, and this has led to me making the decision to give up work for a while. The MS making it just too hard to contemplate at the moment. Yes, life is definitely interesting. You could throw in words like frustrating, worrying, and emotional if you like too, and of course it’s not just me that’s going through this.

Today, (being Sunday 22nd of October) is the birthday of someone rather important in my life, a woman who shares the challenges that I’m currently facing, a woman without whom I doubt I could face them at all. It seems like an apt time to shed the limelight on that rather lovely woman.

That rather lovely woman is my wonderful wife, Tina.

Introducing

For a long time Tina mooched around the periphery of this blog, being named only as The Long Suffering Mrs Seated Perspective. All of this was then demystified in this post where she was, at long last, granted some time front and centre.

Now, as hard as it has been for me to adjust to being told I had yet another life limiting illness it has been just as hard if not more so for Tina. My wife is a woman who has her own troubles. She suffers attacks from the black dog of depression, has recently recovered from a functional stroke, and despite being a pretty damn awesome person, will often fall in to the trap of self doubt, leading to what can sometimes be a paralysing bout of stressing about the possible ramifications of past decisions. She’s also one of the most open, loving, and emotional people I know.

The Readjustment Bureau
Thus it was that, when the doctor had left the room after telling us of the latest diagnosis, it was Tina who was in floods of tears, a state that has been repeated a few times in the last three months as decisions have been made, conversations held, and plans re-evaluated. It has led to uncertainty, has this illness of mine, especially on the financial front. Having made the decision to leave my job there is a definite hole in the household income, and although ESA, as and when I get my P45, and the claim is processed, will definitely help, Tina has still found it necessary to up her hours at work, something I wasn’t all that keen on given the aforementioned stroke.

It’s part of the shift in dynamics in the Seated Perspective Household. I’ve gone from bread winner and, when Tina suffered her stroke, care giver, to being the recipient on both fronts.  It takes a little readjustment for both of us.

Who Cares?
Having been on the caregiver end of the spectrum I know full well the stresses and strains that this can put upon a person. This means that while I need to do what doesn’t always come naturally to me, and look after myself just that little bit better, rather than just ploughing through, and ‘manning up’, I also need to make sure that I am keeping an eye on Tina and making sure she is looking after herself as well. 

We’ve always worked best as a team, two halves of a whole, and although I may be taking a touch more of a back seat in our relationship than tradition might suggest, we need to keep that going. I need to look out for her while she is looking out for me. She is after all my rock amidst these ever shifting sands of circumstance, my strength when my strength is fading. It is only right that I help her to help me.

Present Tense

I’ve not gotten Tina a birthday present (maybe this will do? No?). Due to the current financial pressures, an over-sentimental card will have to suffice. No present would be enough, anyway, to repay the love, support, and strength I receive from this most remarkably strong woman.

Anyway, perhaps it is time to draw a line there, before this devolves into a pile of Hallmark card sentimentality. Thank you dear readers, as usual for reading. If you have any comments, thoughts or suggestions, then please feel free to leave a comment in the section below, yes, that’s it, down there.

Until next time...