Words Worth

Hello dear readers!

Monday is the new Sunday! Woohoo!

Sadly this is not a move to a four day working week, but merely a one week postponement of blog writing day. This unplanned time shift is owed to a perfect storm of clocks going forward, Mother’s Day, Birthdays and a sudden outbreak of church.

It is upon this last item I want to dwell.

Mama Mia
First of all let’s get that busy schedule out of the way though.

Mother’s day is always an emotional time in the Seated Perspective household. My rather lovely step-daughter, Sarah, lives with her dad, on the wrong side of the Pennines in Chester (see here for more details), although we have an arrangement in place whereby she comes over to us every two weeks for most of a weekend.

Up until quite recently that is.

The advent of A-levels, combined with a part time inquiring if people have a requirement for fries with that, and the busy social life of a modern day teenager, have meant that those visits have become more of a rarity these days. Now normally, this is difficult for Tina, my wonderful wife, On Mothering Sunday that difficulty is turned up to eleven. When Mother’s day happens to fall the day after Sarah’s birthday, well then there aren’t enough numbers to put on the dial.

So it was that, as the supportive partner I try to be, I agreed to accompany her to the Sunday morning Salvation Army meeting on this most demanding of days.

Here Starteth The Lesson

Long term readers of this epistolic effort will possibly have gleaned that I’m not the biggest fan of religion (see here or here) in any of it’s myriad forms. Tina however is a confirmed, card carrying, articles of faith signing, true believer and rarely misses a Sunday service. It allows her to meet friends, family, and to indulge her passions for piano playing and singing, as well as all the usual spiritual shenanigans. It really is an important part of her support network. With this in mind I committed myself to a busy day and, ahead of a trip to see my own mum, headed for church.

The lesson of the day was part of a series being run based around the concept of ‘coming alongside’ people. To this layman this seems to entail being helpful, thoughtful and, well, nice. All very laudable concepts. The reading came from John 5 and featured a story of Jesus meeting a lame man outside some healing waters. The poor bloke had been waiting for 30 odd years to get into the water first and claim it’s magical powers but Jesus said to, or possibly unto, him “take up your mat/bed and walk” which of course the bloke did. He then sees him later and tells him to “Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.”.

The Last Straw

Now of course, my ears pricked up when the verse was read out as you can probably imagine. They were still pricked when a case was built around it for helping others to help themselves, to break the cycle of reliance of  'learned helplessness'. This is a noble venture on the face of it. There are hidden dangers within it however.

It is, I think, absolutely necessary to fully and completely understand a person’s situation before offering such advice, no matter how gently one does this. What can seem as if it is a caring, empowering approach could be received in a completely different light without this. Some people may have been attempting to pick up their mat. They might have been trying to do this all their lives. They might, whilst doing this found themselves dealing with a burden that is heavier and heavier and heavier until even one more step is incredibly difficult. An exhortation such as the one above could be just what they need. It could also be the straw that broke the camels back.

Going back to the story, the lame man had been trying to get to the magic pond for a long time. In the story Jesus heals him but we don’t have magic powers and faith healing has never been proven to be efficacious in the long term (short term, yes. This could be down to a rush of adrenaline and endorphins however). This might be why it, along with psychic surgery, and chakra cleansing is not available at any mainstream hospital. It behoves us therefore to be very, very careful how we tread. This is people’s physical, mental, and emotional health we’re dealing with.

Sin Tax

That last little comment was what made the service for me though. That ‘Stop sinning’ stuff. It stinks of victim blaming. The idea that physical and mental maladies are the result of some kind of cosmic rule breaking, that the patient is responsible for the disease, is a poisonous one. Yes there are some people who hold some responsibility for their tragedies, who could have helped themselves that much better. That does not make them any less in need of that help now though. It does not make them any less desperate. There are also those of us who were born with our burdens or had them thrust upon us by cruel fate. The idea that that is our fault would be risible if it weren’t so pervasive (see the fall of Glen Hoddle for example).

I’m not for one moment saying that the above was what the congregation was meant to take from the lesson and, knowing the gentleman who delivered the sermon, I’m sure the aim was far loftier and the intentions far purer. The thing is, the two above points were what I took away, and if that’s what  left with then what might those words mean to others..