Inconceivable!

Hello Dear Readers!

Pregnancy tests should read: You're Screwed! or Keep Screwing!
Anon 

Well that was the week that was.
 

Yes, my much vaunted birthday week off work has indeed come and gone with what seems like Quicksilver type speed.

It does, however leave in its wake a much more relaxed blogger, one who has seen Suicide Squad (Enjoyed it hugely, ignore the critics.) Eaten too much, drunk too much and generally had a whale of a time.

That’s not what I want to talk about today though.

(N.B The below was quite difficult to write, please be gentle.)

Get To The Choppaaaaah!

The subject matter for today’s offering was decided just last night, on the ride home from a family meal to celebrate an aunts 60^th birthday (and score a belated slice of birthday cheesecake!).

I was of course accompanied by Tina, my erstwhile other half and we met up with most of the family, although my youngest sister and her brood were sadly absent (Get well soon sis!).

 I should have possibly been a little wary when Tina took a seat directly next to my lovely mother.  When they fell into close conversation the scouts should probably have been reporting back with news of impending trouble. When I started receiving surreptitious glances and the odd gesture was fired my way, well then  it was almost definitely time to get to the chopper. Of course I wasn’t allowed to know the content of their conversation.

That was until the aforementioned trip home, when, after a little cajoling, the Mrs revealed that their conversation had been on a reproductive bent.

Now, just to put you fully in the picture, dear readers, there is nothing that myself and the Mrs would love more than to be with child. I wasn’t an easy decision, at least for me. The condition I have (Spina Bifida. See Back To Basics) means that there is a possibility of passing my disability on to any progeny. There’s a chance even amongst able boied parents , and that’s why pregnant women are encouraged to take Folic Acid, but with myself the odds increase by approximately 50%.  

 Of course this has to be a factor but I know from personal experience that although life with a disability can be tough, any child we have would have all the love and support in the world as well the encouragement to be a self-sufficient, independent, and rounded individual.

If At First You Don't Succeed
 We have, however, been married for four year now and, although I’ve never been a fan of the term ‘trying’ (I mean, it’s not exactly a chore), we’ve certainly not been taking any precautions to prevent such a happy occurrence. So far though, our luck has been out.

Now it has to be said that matters procreative have taken a bit of a back seat in recent months, what with Tina’s health scare (See Different Strokes) but, as a separate health matter, my wonderful wife has recently had a number of tests regarding… ladies things, the result of which has been to refocus us on the desired results.

The tests also brought up a clean bill of health for Tina, with the only problem being her Hypothyroidism causing irregular cycles. An issue which apparently can be addressed with hormone therapy and once defeated will give us a more defined target to aim for in our, um, endeavours. It will certainly let me know exactly when to stock up on paracetamol, just in case of any unfortunate ‘headaches’.

And so the spotlight moves to yours truly. There are complications caused by my disability that could be an issue in us conceiving. There are, apparently, operations I’ve had (but can’t remember) in the early years of my life that could be a contributing factor as well. A slightly reluctant trudge to the doctors is therefore in order.

Two Shwarzenegger References?
When I say reluctant, this is purely because I’ve had quite a lot prodding and poking of various bits of my anatomy in my life and it’s never something I will go merrily skipping towards (well I’ve  never really been one for skipping, but you catch my drift). It has nothing to do with the possible results of said prodding. IF there is a problem with my swimmers or what have you then it is a chance to look at the possibility of fixing this, or looking at other alternatives to get pregnant (well more to get Tina pregnant, no Junior type scenarios). Without knowing then obviously this is not something we can do.

via GIPHY

One thing that we have both decided in all of this is not to play the blame game. I know that there is nothing Tina would love more than a mini-Mark and I have to confess to the same, but if the result of the various tests and therapies is that one of us more of a factor than the other it would be far too easy to allow resentment to creep in.

I think we’re a stronger couple than that. I think that together we can work through just about anything and I can’t see this being any different, as challenging a situation as it maybe.

I know that for my part, I would hold no such feelings. If it’s not to be then it’s not to be. I also trust in Tina enough to believe that she would be the same, although I know it would be much more difficult for her to know we can’t conceive. I don’t think any man can truly understand a women’s need and desire for children, but I do realise that it can be a powerful thing.  Of course we already have a daughter (Well in my case step-daughter, but pretty much the same thing.) but a new baby, a baby we have produced between the two of us would, I think, just complete the picture.

No, I don’t think Tina will blame me or I Tina. Whether I would blame me, well that’s a different matter.

Until next time…