Sunday, 6 December 2015

Shop Til You Drop (Then Start All Over Again.)

Hello dear readers!

Just before we get going on this week’s informative yet entertaining post I just want to mention a couple of general points.

Firstly, I am a bit of an idiot. It would seem that the last couple of links I've posted on various social media have linked to the overall blog and not to the post in question which may have meant some people have missed said posts in question.

Secondly, I’m indeed a bit of an idiot because I left The Long Suffering Mrs Seated Perspective to walk home from the local church hall tonight due to not having my phones ringer on and the aforementioned idiocy.

There. Done.

Now, as you may have gathered from the title of this week’s offering, the subject for today is shopping, specifically shopping of the seasonal variety. Yay!

Now I'm not what you'd call a huge fan of shopping at the best of times. Retail therapy is not a term that makes sense to me and indeed supermarkets seem like some sort of missing circle of hell, especially on a Saturday morning. It's mainly the crowds, that and the seemingly random nature of them, although the self-absorbed casual rudeness that seems to be prevalent in such situations doesn't help either.

I'm not talking about being stared at or anything of that ilk, more the being shunted by trollies, almost fallen on by random browsers (not the computer variety, obvs), trapped in aisles by abandoned trollies, and generally left feeling bruised, bewildered and more than a little frustrated. And that's just supermarkets.

The real fun, for yours truly anyway, starts in the many and varied high street stores one simply has to frequent to get those last few items for Santa's list. Admittedly, with the advent of the internet, much of this can be done from the comfort of the sofa with a nice hot coffee in hand and a watchful eye on the football scores. There's always those bits though, those pesky presents that need jut that little more inspiration or require a more visceral, hands on approach to shopping. The ones that mean a trip out is unavoidable.

Clan Seated Perspective made such an expedition just yesterday to a local shopping complex called The White Rose Centre. It's one of those covered mega malls housing everything from department stores to stalls selling a mind melting array of nail varnish. This close to Xmas it was, of course, ridiculously busy. The main walkway that connects the stores wasn't too bad. Yes, there were the usual sudden stoppers, random direction changers and couples who don't know which side of a wheelchair to head to but absolutely will not let go of each other’s hands; nothing I wouldn't expect though.

The main issue came when we entered one of the many temples of commerce that line the main causeway. There are two main types of store and each hold their own challenges.

 Firstly there are the smaller stores. The main problem here tends to be a lack of space. True retailers need to make an honest buck, and true at this time of year that becomes even more of a priority but if I'm brutally honest I'm probably more likely to make a purchase if I can get in the premises. Turning round and getting back out again would also be useful. I may be slightly exaggerating for effect but honestly, some shops are so ridiculously difficult to navigate that you might as well not bother. (Yes Paperchase, I'm looking at you!)

On the opposite side of the scale are the larger department stores. Now here space is not so much of a premium. Generally these shops tend to be on multiple levels with as much floor space as a couple of the smaller retailers put together. They still manage to arrange their shelves and racks like some kind of challenge from The Crystal Maze though. Particularly bad for this are clothes retailers. Trying to get a Wheelchair between some of the racks of shirts, T-shirts, and other manly items without bringing at least three said items crashing down to the floor can be a job of work, especially when having to back up at an unexpected dead end. I've long since given up even attempting the women’s department and let ‘The Long Suffering’ browse alone in the main (that’s my excuse anyway, and I’m sticking to it.). These are also the establishments most likely to engage me in a game of 'find the lift' (hours of fun for all the family.)

So, yes; to put it in a shorter and perhaps slightly less ranty way. Xmas shopping is and probably always will be among my very least favourite ways to spend a day and I am more than happy that this year's is just about done.

Still not long til the January sales, eh!

Until next time...








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