Let’s start at the very beginning. It’s a very good place to start. (Or so a certain overly cheerful nun would have us believe anyway). The trouble is, I’m no longer sure where that is.
The last couple of weeks have been pretty good you see, weather-wise, at least, and that has seen your friendly neighbourhood blogger indulge in one of his favourite pastimes, namely doing a whole lot of nothing.
I’ve taken to rising at my accustomed hour of far too early in the morning, and transporting my breakfast, a pot of coffee, my dog, and my book into the newly furnished back garden to soak up a little of this should-probably-be-seasonal sunshine. It’s led me to do a lot of reading and a lot of thinking (yeah I know, never a good thing), and it is upon the latter subject I’d like to write today.
Don't Worry
It all comes back to that book. A thick, hard-back tome by renowned magician, mentalist, and showman, Derren Brown. It’s not about any of those things mind you, but more about Stoic philosophy and how this can potentially help a person to live a better life. It goes by the title of ‘Happy’.
It’s taken a bit of reading. Not because of any difficulties with the big words (there were a few), but because the book is deep and broad in ways that have nothing to do with mere dimensions. It touches on life, perspective, judgements, time, and even the thorny subject of death and it does so with a marvellous lightness of touch, and no little humour. It really was a delight to have it with me on those idyllic, caffeine fuelled mornings.
It did however leave me thinking, as I mentioned above. Before anyone asks, no this didn’t leave me with any headaches. Instead it was the kind of book that, personally, I got the most out of by perusing a little at a time, concept by concept, before retiring to the washing-up, or walking the dog, to unpack what had just been dumped in my Cerebrum. It’s the kind of book that takes a little consideration.
Consider This
That’s a fitting word to use, ‘consideration’, because, at it’s heart, that’s what ‘Happy’ is about. The considered life. The life that is spent not dreaming of the future, or wallowing in the past but in working out what the best way to find happiness in the here and now might be. Now don’t worry. I’m not going to pontificate in detail about the contents of the book. It would take up too much room and lose a lot in the re-telling. I might also struggle to get enough jokes in. There are two points though that I think are worth mentioning.
(Please note that what follows is a VERY rough approximation of the book's ideas, and almost certainly a misrepresentation, filtered as it is through my own tiny mind. It's a bit like pouring vintage Champagne through Swiss cheese.)
Yours And Mine
One is an exercise that Mr Brown uses as an illustration. He asks the reader to imagine a line drawn in front of him, right in front of his face. Then imagine any given situation, and on one side write down what you can do yourself to influence events, also write down how you might change how you think about those events. On the other write down the opposite. What other people might think, and all the outside influences and tricks of fate that can impact that event. The first list is what you can control and should be concentrated on. The second is outside of your direct influence, and is therefore immaterial and not worth worrying about. There. Simple isn’t it.
Well, no, it isn't . I mean, I agree 100% or perhaps a bit more, with the sentiment, but it’s not simple. It’s actually incredibly difficult to remember that fate will have it’s way and sometimes our best efforts and our best intentions are doomed to failure from the start. It’s true though.
‘It’s not fair’ is a worthless sentiment (as long as you’ve satisfied 'list one'), because life, the universe (and everything), isn’t fair. No-one ever said it was. So, do your best and if that’s not enough then that’s not enough. Take heart in that. Pay attention to how you’re reacting to things, and decide if your thoughts are causing you stress and worry (never a big help), if they pay too much heed to what others might think, and other matters of ego, or if they are aimed at making peace with an imperfect outcome (assuming perfection is dancing beguilingly on the horizon as it usually does).
Wibbly-Wobbly
The second point is about time. In the book, Mr brown points out that we are three dimensional beings living in a four (at least) dimensional world. We can perceive the passage of time only in how it effects us on moment at a time. We're not Timelords. That is not to say that we don’t have memories of the past, or dreams of the future, but these are approximations at best and can only inform how we act, think, and feel in the present (however long that is).
Memories can be wonderful, they can also be horrible, but it’s the sum of those memories that inform us how we got here, now. They inform our character, our judgements, and our values, and if used correctly can act as lessons on the best way to handle life’s endless tasks.
For instance I have a clear and abiding memory of picking up a hot pan by it’s hot handle. The memory of that swear-word filled moment of incredible pain, borne with much manly fortitude and absolutely no whimpering, and it’s immediate fallout (documented here), mean that I won’t be doing that again in a hurry... or at all.
The important thing is to learn which of these imperfectly constructed mental pictures of past events that we ourselves paint, are helpful and which are harmful and, if we can, to try to diminish the effects of those in the latter category. It’s easier said than done by a long shot, a million to one chance… but it might just work.
Dreams of our future also impact our present. It is these ambitions that, if we are to have any say in fate’s progress, we will need to plan for, that we will need to save money for, to expend energy on, and this is never a waste of time. It increases the likelihood of those dreams coming to pass. I want to see my name on the spine of a book I’ve written in a bookshop. In order to bring this to pass I’ve had to write a book. Without doing that the whole dream becomes a hell of a lot less likely. Now that doesn’t mean that B will follow A. Just because I’ve written that book doesn’t mean it will get published. It’s not foolproof (or even foolscap for that matter).
Of Mice And Men
And that’s the point. Into every life a shower of something else beginning with ‘sh’ will fall. It will do so despite our best laid plans, but that’s alright, we tried our best to live our lives as we think they should be lived. The past, and the future, are different countries, and we cannot live there. That has to be done here in the place we should always value more than anywhere else. A place we should pay more attention to. In the ever changing now.
P.S. If you get the chance, please read ‘Happy’ by Derren Brown. He puts things so much better than I do.
Until next time.
The last couple of weeks have been pretty good you see, weather-wise, at least, and that has seen your friendly neighbourhood blogger indulge in one of his favourite pastimes, namely doing a whole lot of nothing.
I’ve taken to rising at my accustomed hour of far too early in the morning, and transporting my breakfast, a pot of coffee, my dog, and my book into the newly furnished back garden to soak up a little of this should-probably-be-seasonal sunshine. It’s led me to do a lot of reading and a lot of thinking (yeah I know, never a good thing), and it is upon the latter subject I’d like to write today.
Don't Worry
It all comes back to that book. A thick, hard-back tome by renowned magician, mentalist, and showman, Derren Brown. It’s not about any of those things mind you, but more about Stoic philosophy and how this can potentially help a person to live a better life. It goes by the title of ‘Happy’.
It’s taken a bit of reading. Not because of any difficulties with the big words (there were a few), but because the book is deep and broad in ways that have nothing to do with mere dimensions. It touches on life, perspective, judgements, time, and even the thorny subject of death and it does so with a marvellous lightness of touch, and no little humour. It really was a delight to have it with me on those idyllic, caffeine fuelled mornings.
It did however leave me thinking, as I mentioned above. Before anyone asks, no this didn’t leave me with any headaches. Instead it was the kind of book that, personally, I got the most out of by perusing a little at a time, concept by concept, before retiring to the washing-up, or walking the dog, to unpack what had just been dumped in my Cerebrum. It’s the kind of book that takes a little consideration.
Consider This
That’s a fitting word to use, ‘consideration’, because, at it’s heart, that’s what ‘Happy’ is about. The considered life. The life that is spent not dreaming of the future, or wallowing in the past but in working out what the best way to find happiness in the here and now might be. Now don’t worry. I’m not going to pontificate in detail about the contents of the book. It would take up too much room and lose a lot in the re-telling. I might also struggle to get enough jokes in. There are two points though that I think are worth mentioning.
(Please note that what follows is a VERY rough approximation of the book's ideas, and almost certainly a misrepresentation, filtered as it is through my own tiny mind. It's a bit like pouring vintage Champagne through Swiss cheese.)
Yours And Mine
One is an exercise that Mr Brown uses as an illustration. He asks the reader to imagine a line drawn in front of him, right in front of his face. Then imagine any given situation, and on one side write down what you can do yourself to influence events, also write down how you might change how you think about those events. On the other write down the opposite. What other people might think, and all the outside influences and tricks of fate that can impact that event. The first list is what you can control and should be concentrated on. The second is outside of your direct influence, and is therefore immaterial and not worth worrying about. There. Simple isn’t it.
Well, no, it isn't . I mean, I agree 100% or perhaps a bit more, with the sentiment, but it’s not simple. It’s actually incredibly difficult to remember that fate will have it’s way and sometimes our best efforts and our best intentions are doomed to failure from the start. It’s true though.
‘It’s not fair’ is a worthless sentiment (as long as you’ve satisfied 'list one'), because life, the universe (and everything), isn’t fair. No-one ever said it was. So, do your best and if that’s not enough then that’s not enough. Take heart in that. Pay attention to how you’re reacting to things, and decide if your thoughts are causing you stress and worry (never a big help), if they pay too much heed to what others might think, and other matters of ego, or if they are aimed at making peace with an imperfect outcome (assuming perfection is dancing beguilingly on the horizon as it usually does).
Wibbly-Wobbly
The second point is about time. In the book, Mr brown points out that we are three dimensional beings living in a four (at least) dimensional world. We can perceive the passage of time only in how it effects us on moment at a time. We're not Timelords. That is not to say that we don’t have memories of the past, or dreams of the future, but these are approximations at best and can only inform how we act, think, and feel in the present (however long that is).
Memories can be wonderful, they can also be horrible, but it’s the sum of those memories that inform us how we got here, now. They inform our character, our judgements, and our values, and if used correctly can act as lessons on the best way to handle life’s endless tasks.
For instance I have a clear and abiding memory of picking up a hot pan by it’s hot handle. The memory of that swear-word filled moment of incredible pain, borne with much manly fortitude and absolutely no whimpering, and it’s immediate fallout (documented here), mean that I won’t be doing that again in a hurry... or at all.
The important thing is to learn which of these imperfectly constructed mental pictures of past events that we ourselves paint, are helpful and which are harmful and, if we can, to try to diminish the effects of those in the latter category. It’s easier said than done by a long shot, a million to one chance… but it might just work.
Dreams of our future also impact our present. It is these ambitions that, if we are to have any say in fate’s progress, we will need to plan for, that we will need to save money for, to expend energy on, and this is never a waste of time. It increases the likelihood of those dreams coming to pass. I want to see my name on the spine of a book I’ve written in a bookshop. In order to bring this to pass I’ve had to write a book. Without doing that the whole dream becomes a hell of a lot less likely. Now that doesn’t mean that B will follow A. Just because I’ve written that book doesn’t mean it will get published. It’s not foolproof (or even foolscap for that matter).
Of Mice And Men
And that’s the point. Into every life a shower of something else beginning with ‘sh’ will fall. It will do so despite our best laid plans, but that’s alright, we tried our best to live our lives as we think they should be lived. The past, and the future, are different countries, and we cannot live there. That has to be done here in the place we should always value more than anywhere else. A place we should pay more attention to. In the ever changing now.
P.S. If you get the chance, please read ‘Happy’ by Derren Brown. He puts things so much better than I do.
Until next time.
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