Wednesday 15 July 2020

I've Got A Theory

Hello, dear readers!

I have a problem.

Yes, I know this is not the biggest of revelations (well, the fact I used the singular might be). It is true, though. In these Covid days it’s not a big problem, In fact it shrinks in comparison to some of the horrors and hardships people are going through but it’s there, and like a piece of grit in the sandwich of life, it irks me.

My problem is such. As a blogger, I look for something to write about every week. As my blog is a personal one I try to make this experiential. A taste of the trials and victories in my life.

Of late, however, my life has constricted. Covid-19 has meant that the limited social interactions I force myself into have all but disappeared. Lockdown has robbed me of stories regarding family, friends, appointments, and meetings. The advent of Covid means that often, when I’m looking for something to write about, there is only one subject that presents itself. There is but one game in town. Luckily, however, the game has myriad aspects held within it, and sometimes those aspects lead on to other avenues.

Today I’d like to take a trip down just such an avenue.


Anti-Social Media
It will come as no great shock to those of you with the dubious honour of knowing me outside of this blog to learn I am no stranger to social media. This predates Covid by a looooong way but, as the disease has lessened face-to-face meetings, I’ve found myself indulging in it more and more.



It makes for a break from the telly, and the X-box, and it means I can join communities that share passions I hold dear. I can discuss TV programmes and watch people who are actually good at them playing X-box games I love (did I mention something about a break?).

It means I can keep an eye on the news and keep up with the major events in the lives of friends and family without having to remember to pick up the phone (something I’m seemingly not very good at) as well as find forums (forii) and discussions discussion room for help from very knowledgeable people with everything from my writing to my MS. I’m also able to keep an eye on the latest regarding the global pandemic and my own country’s shambolic response to it as well as other people’s response to the response (and responses to their response and… Well; you get the picture).

Theory Test
I’ve found Twitter to be especially useful for a lot of this, although it’s also taught me a lesson on some of the more… interesting sides of the political debate.

I think there have pretty much always been conspiracy theories. I’m willing to bet that even if you were to take a ride on the TARDIS back to the stone age, you’d find some poor caveman who thinks the extinction of the Wooly Mammoth was a staged event designed to stop them making spears to throw at large, hairy animals.

I could, of course, be wrong, but the truth is they’ve most certainly been around for a good long while. Personally, I think my own favourite is the Paul Is Dead theory (look it up. I’s fascinating), but other notable case include global warming, The flat earth, the descendants of Jesus, Jack The Ripper and the Freemasons, David Icke’s Lizard people, Elvis Lives!, The Illuminati, and New Coke. We also have the 9/11 conspiracies and those surrounding the Sandy Hook school shooting.

A quick look on the aforementioned social media site will soon show you that our fixation with these often wild and frequently unprovable theories has not waned. In fact, if anything, the uncertainty and jeopardy of the situation seems to have only amplified their clarion call.

Stage Show
The whole thing is being staged, you see. It’s an attempt to force compliance on people. If not that then it was deliberately engineered by the Chinese as the first wave of World War Three. Of course it could be the Democrats trying to derail President Trump’s re-election campaign, or George Soros, or Bill Gates, or Big Pharma, or 5G being piped by Tech giants through the metal strip in the masks we’re now being asked to wear. Maybe it’s the first stage in an alien invasion. An attempt to make us soft and sickly before the saucers land. Maybe it’s Derren Brown pulling his latest TV special… on you!




All of these (apart from the last one, but give me time), are hot topics amongst those ‘in the know’, but rarely is any real evidence provided to back them up. I myself got involved in a spirited discussion (I was bored) with one gentleman who was told by ‘a friend’ that the police in the U.K. had not suffered one case of Covid-19 in the last 4 months. This struck me as anomalous, so I took the bait and did a bit of research and linked him to a story in the Lincolnshire Reporter which highlighted several cases. Within an hour, I was wishing I hadn’t.

Paper Trail
The Lincolnshire Reporter is linked, you see. It is part of the World Media (despite having no links to any national paper). It is beholden to Silicon Valley (because it’s sister publication, a business paper, ran a story about a U.K. microwave manufacturer being sold to an American company.). It is wrapped up with Big Government because said sister publication ran a survey on its website to find out how Covid is effecting business in the Lincolnshire area. Of course whenever I pointed out the flaws in any of this I was told to WAKE UP! I was a SHEEPLE. The individual even visited this blog (thank-you for the uptick in numbers, by the way), and investigated my friends list. At this point, I thought things were getting a little too intense and let him have the 'win'.




This might all seem like a harmless distraction (well, it did until the stalking started), but it’s people like this who, in this delicate time, are advising people to go against the best medical advice. The majority of the medical experts out there advise that wearing a mask in enclosed spaces, where it’s harder to socially distance, is useful in slowing the spread of the disease. They’ve done this for a while, but this last week the government has decided to ask people to do this in shops (but not pubs, bars, restaurants, or places of work). This seems to have spiked a resurgence in the theories and the rugged individualists who just don’t want to mask up (despite it making you look like a ninja!), and if avoiding light discomfort costs lives then hey, who cares.

For my part, despite the government’s hot mess of a message and the conspiracies which will no doubt spring up around even those, I’m playing it safe. If I can avoid the shops I will. If I can keep 2 metres away from people, I will. If I can’t I’ll mask up. It’s possible the conspiracy theorists are right. It’s possible I’ll miss stuff for no reason. It’s possible I’ll be uncomfortable for a while. If it stops me getting sick, or worse, getting someone else sick, then I think it’s worth it.


Until next time…

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