Sunday 11 December 2016

Interview With The Seated Person

Hello dear readers!

You can't keep a good man down.

It seems the same would go for me (Goodness not included as standard: your mileage may vary depending on conditions) and in fact this week has seen me rise from the ashes of recent months like the proverbial phoenix, tail feathers only ever so slightly charred.

That's right dear readers, I've only gone and got myself a job!

Suit Up
Well, actually, let's not get too far ahead of ourselves here; what I've actually got is a job offer. There's still the obligatory checks to be made, references to be collected, and other administrative tasks to complete before it's 100% official. All being well though the 3rd of January will see me suit up, get a decent amount of caffeine into the old system, and make the reasonably easy journey to my new place of work.

I say reasonably easy, but on Tuesday when myself and Tina, my wonderful wife, decided to head out on a practise run we did not find it all that easy, or all that reasonable.

Magical Mystery Tour
My mistake was, I think to rely on looking up the route prior to setting off and writing down the various turnings and road names, rather than using the sat-nav thingy I have for my phone. Still, this was my chosen method of navigation and, to be fair, it worked really well... up to a point.

That point was the exact moment I missed a key turn off and started to find myself increasingly, oh, whats the word... lost.



Now, I hate getting lost. I absolutely abhor it. In this blogger's book there's nothing worse than not knowing where you are or where you're going.. This, however, was indeed the situation myself and my erstwhile co-pilot found ourselves in. Luckily we eeventually found a place to turn around and, taking the breadcrumbs approach, we retraced our steps through a combination of landmarks, roadsigns, and a healthy amount of dumb luck. Regaining familiar territory, and after a brief discussion, we decided to turn round and give it another go. We did not  fare any better.

Luckily we did pass a pub, part of a chain that is famous for it's carveries,  so we were able to  drown our sorrows in two types of meat, enough veggies to sink a battleship and perhaps the biggest Yorkshire pudding I've ever seen. This was small recompense though to what had been a thoroughly wasted journey; one which had left me no wiser to the location of my prospective employer.

Bear With Me
So, I would have to rely on the sat-nav it seemed. I'm not usually the biggest fan of these. Some of the routes they take you down seem to be mistifyingly convoluted, and I can never understand why 'bear left' is even an instruction, when it seems to basically boil down to 'follow the road that your on. Oh, and it bends a bit'. If there were actually an enraged bear on the left then, well, that would be good to know. To date though, there has been a distinct lack of grizzly, brown, polar, or even panda bears in the prescribed direction. I think I might have caught a fleeting gimpse of a koala once, but they're not really bears, so that doesn't count

Ursine annoyances aside, I have to admit that Doris (my name for the sat-nav, nothing odd about that) did me proud. With Tina once again by my side, ready to pre-empt Doris and help me plan ahead, we actually managed to actually find the place in question on the actual morning of the interview... and with a whole half hour to spare as well!  We also discovered that when we finally threw the towel in on our quest the day before we had been almost within spitting distance of our destination. Just one more right turn and we would have been there. D'oh!


via GIPHY

I won't bore you, my dear readers, with the minutiae of what occured within those hallowed halls on that fateful day. I won't trouble you with the exercises I had to complete, the role plays I had to, um, play, the questions I had to answer, or the ritual sacrifices to the dark gods of corporate finance that I had to make. No I won't bore you with any of that. What I will bore you with is the little interview that I like to give to anyone I'm looking to work for.

Questions Three
I say interview but, really, it's more akin to an audit. Any time I visit a new place, especially one that I'm going to be visiting on a regular basis I look out for certain things which others would probably not even think twice about. This is especially important with a workplace.

The first question is always 'where is the loo?' Is there a dedicated facility for the disabled? Is there more than one? Are they on every floor?  These might be question you'd expect a yes to but this is not always the case (as you can see for instance here).

Secondly: is there a lift? (Quite important if I'm expected to work upstairs.) Is there just one lift? If so, what are the contingencies if it should breakdown? Thirdly: what is the parking like? This might seem less important but, as a wheelchair user, public transport can be... interesting, to say the least. I wouldn't want to turn up late because the bus had two pushchairs on it already and thus not enough room for little ol' me. Taxi's are a possibility but again, an accessible one can take time to get to me. Having the car makes the commute so much easier, given adequate parking facilities.

http://i2.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article109893.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/a-council-paint-a-disabled-parking-area-around-a-lampost-pic-dm-574023350.jpg

Then there only remains the smaller, but no less important matters to contend with.

These can, in my experience, be handled after starting a position.things like desk height, leg room, and turning space in the area I'll be working in are all usually part of a 'workspace assessment'. I'm not sure when this will take place, although with companies paying ever more attention to health & safety, I think I'm safe in assuming it will.

Soft Soap
I am happy to say though, that after my first, rather cursory, inspection. The company passes the interview with flying colours. Three reasonably sized lifts give access to each floor, upon each of which there is a dedicated accessible toilet. These have been inspected and are nice and large, with all the requisite bars and supports,  a hand dryer at a decent height, and dispensable soap that is handily not completely out of reach (you may detect a small bitter note of experience regarding that last point, just a small one mind) and the car park, although small, did have a space reserved for me for the day. This last point may need to be revisited for the purpose of regular usage.

On the whole though, from an accessibility point of view, I am more than happy to offer the organisation my services, so congratulations, you've made it! I will see you bright(ish) and early on the 3rd... assuming I don't get too lost that is

Until next time...

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