Thursday 2 July 2015

The night before the day after

Hello readers!

And this time I know there are readers too, thanks to Blogger's comment section and stats thingy. Exciting times, eh? Well, dear readers, today finds your friendly neighbourhood blogger sat at his laptop, with a cup of tea and slightly steaming trousers, a fact I'll come back to in a minute.

Before I do that however, I want to take a minute to explain the post's title. You see recently (and we're talking Tuesday of this week here), My role at work was amongst those that became redundant. This was partly my reason for starting this project actually, although it had been one of those things I'd had on the list for a while. To get to the point though, although Tuesday was my last working day, the official leaving do is... Tomorrow.

It makes sense really. I mean we can't have all those who still have jobs going in on a Wednesday morning with aching heads and parched mouths now can we?  What the shift to a Friday means is that all those who wish to honour their former colleagues, or just want the excuse for a good booze up, can come out with a clear conscience and really enjoy themselves, really let go. It also means it's likely to get messy.

Now I'm no stranger to messy nights out, or for that matter, messy days out but I reach the ripe old age of 41 in a month's time. This, coupled with the mini heatwave the glorious North of England is enjoying has led me to make some preparations. Fluids are being taken on as we speak, an early-ish night is booked in, and a hearty breakfast/lunch combo is most definitely on the cards. What tomorrow's revelry will bring Zeus only knows but I'm pretty sure there will be no blog entry (Booo!), Saturday's should be fun though.

Now about those trousers... As previously mentioned, this week has seen temperatures soar and the sun shine. Great for a man with time on his hands. Today however has been... not so nice. It has been cloudy most off the day and as we reached late afternoon the heavens did open, and how! The problem with this was that the wife was at work and the dog needed walking. I began to worry, stressing that the task would go undone and an overly energetic puppy would result. Thankfully though the incessant downpour began to clear. The sky was still grey but a chink of light showed itself and as if answering my unspoken wish, the waters stopped. Taking my life into my hands, I got my coat, the lead, the dog, and a pocketful of treats and set off.

It took all of ten minutes for it to start raining again. It came down slowly at first but got faster by the second until big juicy raindrops were well and truly falling on my head.

Now when you go out in the rain, what part of you gets the wettest? Head? Shoulders? feet maybe? Well for a wheelchair user it's the legs. In fact specifically it's the lap.

Imagine yourself, if you will, sitting in a chair, in a rainstorm.You obviously have all the usual bits to get soaked, (head, shoulders, feet etc), but you also have all this extra surface area acting almost as a naturally absorbent tray to catch all that lovely water; and catch it it does. It's rare I come back in from the rain without having trousers soaked through, specifically from groin to knee and solely at the front. An odd sight I'll grant you.

There are of course solutions. Rain capes would be one, but personally I hate the look above wheels and would rather get wet. Then there's waterproof trousers, a much better look but can end up with the wearer slipping out of his chair, (who sir, me sir, no sir!), and let's not discuss the inner humidity issue! Someday I may invent the perfect solution to this issue, for now though, well  I guess I'll just man up (and avoid the rain where possible)

All of which meandering flim-flam, should hopefully help you to clarify the picture of yours truly, sat in his lounge, soggy dog in her bed and trousers gently steaming under the heat of his laptop. I hope it's not too off-putting.

Until next time


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